"Confession is Good for the Soul"

This morning I spent a half an hour out in my garden. The brilliant sun played off the fresh grass, and made the blue and gold primroses beam. The forget-me-nots had just started to flower, and I could see the first lily-of-the-valley bells peeking out from under the lilac tree. The lilac was beginning to bloom! I buried my nose in a blossom, breathed deeply, and smiled. Pulling back, I noticed a large, dead branch on the right side of the bush. This needs to go, I thought, so off I went to get my small handsaw. Off came the offending decay. Finished with that project, I took a closer look at some greenery that was coming up through the back of the tree. Hmm.  Was this a new lilac shoot or an interloper? Definitely not a lilac. A scrub honeysuckle! Out came the saw again. Finally, a large pile of dead and unnecessary branches lay on the ground, and the lilac (and I)  breathed a sigh of relief.

The practice of confession reminds me a little of this morning's care of the lilac. It requires identification of what's good and what's not good, and necessitates removal of what doesn't belong. All this is done to promote flourishing - more life, more blossoms, more fruit. However, unlike the lilac tree that has no say in whether or not it feels the cut of the saw, we humans have a choice in whether we initiate the whacking off of dead and harmful stuff, or turn a blind eye and let our lives get choked out by weeds, and burdened down by dead weight.

​What keeps us from Confesssion?

I don't know about you, but the there are many things that keep me from owning what I've done or thought that I know is wrong. Shame, disappointment, and fear are all emotions I have to overcome before I come to confession. As a person who tries hard to do what's right, I'm disappointed to fail. I'm ashamed that I have negative feelings or reactions after years of living a life that is empowered by the Spirit of God. I'm afraid that others will think less of me. I'm afraid God will think less of me.

In his song, "Start with the Ending," David Wilcox, a bit tongue-in-check, encourages a couple to begin their marriage imagining that it's already ended. Since the marriage is over, each person is free to say what they've been hiding in hopes of keeping the marriage alive. Ironically, getting the fear and shame and disappointment out of the way makes space for honesty and health.

So what happens if we start with the ending when it comes to confession? The part where God, in grace and infinite love, offers us forgiveness. Does knowing that our God is compassionate, and not condemning, give us the courage to say what's true, to come clean? God wants our best, our health, and that can't happen if we don't speak the truth about ourselves - or about God! It is only by identifying what's not life-giving and by allowing the Spirit to remove it from our lives, that we are able to grow and flourish.

​Picking up Penance?

The practice of penance, for those who grew up in the Protestant church, might be something we're vaguely aware of - perhaps it includes a fuzzy notion of Hail Mary's, or involves rosaries. Interestingly, the Eastern Orthodox church offers a practice that is called an epitemia, meant to heal or strengthen the weaknesses acknowledged in confession. We could think about an epitemia as an exercise which we undertake, much like physical therapy, to make us stronger. For example, putting oneself in situations which require patience can help patience to grow. Hebrews 11:11,12 says "No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields a peaceful harvest of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore strengthen your limp hands and weak knees."

An epitemia could also be a set of alternative options in a situation. For instance, If I find myself constantly eating sugar and sweets, it doesn't help me by saying ( as I often do at the end of the day) "I shouldn't have had that last cookie at dinner." Rather, I need to make a proactive plan (an epitemia) to have other healthy choices when I want to reach for a cookie. I need fruit , or ingredients for a yogurt smoothie easily on hand. So it is with other struggles we have. It's not enough to confess what we do wrong, we need to prayerfully ask the Spirit (or a trusted friend) for spiritual exercises or creative options to help us become stronger in doing the right things.

​Dig a Little Deeper

Taking some time to reflect on sinful patterns in our lives can be an invitation, not to despair, but to dig a little deeper, to discover the roots of those patterns. Why is it that we have trouble telling the truth? Why are we constantly angry at our workmate? Why is it so easy to pass on a salacious story we know is probably not true? Why are we so snarky on social media?

Our behavior comes from our heart, our thoughts and beliefs. As we slow down and prayerfully analyze our actions, we can discover the false beliefs that lie behind our behavior. Do we act out because we don't feel worthwhile? Do we lie because we're ashamed someone will find out that we're not what we seem to be? Do we feel helpless in the midst of our current political or economic climate? What are the truths that combat each of these lies? As we commit ourselves to replacing false beliefs with what is true, we are engaging in the process of taking on the "mind of Christ" (1 Cor 2;16). If God truly holds my time, I don't need to be anxious about delays in my day. If I am loved, just as I am, I can be more vulnerable in admitting my failings. As we renew our minds, our behavior will begin to change so that we begin more and more to imitate Christ, living lives of love.

​A Second (and Third and Fourth...) Chance

Confession is a gift. Confession is a necessity; it's like a bath, or a set of pruning sheers. Or maybe it's like a microscope, or an MRI. Choose your own metaphor. Here's the main thing. Growing is a messy process. Living includes making mistakes and overcoming harmful patterns. That's what it means to be human. And God gets that. God really does. And God wants you to keep growing, to become the best version of yourself that you can become. That's why God wants us to confess our sins. God wants us to be honest with ourselves about where we're falling short. Not so that we can be called on the carpet and given a dressing down, but so that we can be forgiven, encouraged, and sent back out into the wonderful adventure of living in love. So let's embrace the gift. Let's recover the lost art of confession, and join God in creating a more loving and lively life.

Additional Resources:
​
Brene Brown on vulnerability
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en
Song for Confession 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5KPKUhLQEQ&feature=youtu.be
Prayers of repentance
http://www.faithandworship.com/prayers_Repentance.htm
http://stgeorgebakersfield.org/resources_and_links/confession

Photo credits:
Tree with roots: Aaron Escobar
Green/Brown art work: Aletheia Schmidt "Second Chance"
​all others creative commons

I've been wondering for several days whether or not I should keep blogging. As I reflect on the past three years, I'm really pleased that I have been so consistent in posting. It's been gratifying to see that I can express my thoughts on "paper" and there are several posts that I am particularly proud of. In addition, the blog has been a place where I have been able to grow into how I imagine myself. My first post was a poem I had recently composed. I had the feeling that if I just kept it to myself, it wouldn't be the same. Even if nobody read it, still the act of making my words public was important to my sense of self.

I didn't post much more poetry, but I did start putting out more of my thoughts - writing down those ideas which were on the order of "I've been thinking," a phrase my children heard often at the breakfast or dinner table. I moved on to exploring thoughts on theology and personal health. The Sunday posts were an oppotunity to fill in what the Sunday sermon had inspired. The healthy living posts morphed into sharing favorite recipes, which in turn encouraged me to keep looking for more healthy ways to cook.

But perhaps my favorite posts have been my Friday posts - where I've scoured the internet for poetry, music and art to share. Like a freshman english project, finding poetry has made me love poetry even more. A recent trip to Barnes and Noble looking for some poetry for a friend, led to some familiar faces, in part due to poets who have become favorites over the years. Needing a piece of art to illustrate a post, or creating a post out of a Chihuly or Van Gogh exhibit reminds me how much I'm drawn to art. I've discovered some great sites for classic art and myriads of artists who continue to create breathtaking pieces.

My password for this account includes the word "encourage" and though no doubt I've encouraged some of you who have found your way to this blog, I think the encouragement has been flowing often toward me, nourishing my soul, enriching my own joy. And so, like most writers, in the end I've ended up writing mostly for myself.

Still, I'm noticing recently that I'm having to choose between time at the blog and time at the piano, or reading, or cooking, or the myriad of other things that make my life meaningful and full of joy. And so while I may not close my blog down indefinitely, I think I'm going to take a break to leave more time for other creative pursuits. A friend of mine, Farida, who I found through the "Better Living Through Beowulf" blog I've mentioned in past posts, sent me a poem this morning which sums it up better than I could.

My life has been the poem I would have writ
by Henry David Thoreau
 
My life has been the poem I would have writ
But I could not both live and utter it.

Perhaps living my life will include sharing and reflecting on it at this blog. Or maybe my writing and creativity will take a different bent. (There's still so much I want to interact on with Julian of Norwich, for instance, and I wonder how best to do that.) No matter what the future looks like, it's been great hanging out here at "Lets Choose Joy," Thanks to all of you who have made comments and shared posts. May this New Year be filled with blessings and joy.

12/21/12. The end of the world? No. The end of an age? Perhaps. If so, today is the first day of a new age. What if it's the age where we learn how to love each other deeply, imagine possibilities where each person flourishes, and use our resources to make those futures a reality? 

I long for this to be true of us a human race - that we are entering a new era that culminates in a new world. In honor of that hope, I'm posting the first movement of Dvorak's "New World Symphony," a favorite from childhood. The winds awaken our hearts with a yearning for all things pastoral; the brass calls us to the adventure. May we take up the challenge, open our hearts, let our creativity be ignited, and step out with grace.

A while ago I saw a picture of an apple galette and have been waiting for the right time to give it a try. And yesterday was the day. Here's the picture of it coming out of the oven. Of course I forgot to get another one once it was on the antique cake platter! Ah well.
 
A galette is any type of flat, round cake made of pastry and filling. I used my pie dough recipe and filled it with apples, craisins and nuts. The look is so artisan it makes you feel like you've started baking in a brick oven. Having a silpat or other silicon baking sheet definitely helps, although it's not necessary. But if you're still looking for a late Christmas idea, these are wonders - nothing sticks to the pan, and they're a breeze to clean up.

This recipe is slightly modified from this site at epicurious.

Apple/Craisin Galette

your favorite pie crust recipe or prepared crust
I made enough for a double crusted pie (1 3/4 c flour)

4 apples
4 T sugar (raw sugar works nicely, especially on the edges)
1/4 c craisins
1/4 c apricot jam
milk
chopped walnuts for garnish

Roll out pie crust on parchment paper or silpat. Transfer to a baking sheet. Slice apples thinly and toss with 2 T sugar, craisins and lemon zest. Spread crust with the apricot jam. Arrange the apples in the middle of the pastry, leaving the outside 1 1/2 inches uncovered. I arranged the apples on their sides around the edge, then filled in with the rest of the apples, so it was a little more full. Top with a small handful of walnuts.

With a pancake turner, lift the edges over the filling, crimping together. Brush edges with milk and then sprinkle with remaining sugar. Bake at 450 for 20 minutes, then turn down to 375 for 30 minutes or until pastry is nicely browned.

The trickiest part was getting it from the baking sheet to the cake plate. I make an oil crust, so this was probably why. Garnish with vanilla ice cream  or whipped cream. Bon appetit!

 

3rd Sunday of Advent

Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38,39)
.

The events of Friday's shooting at Sandy Hook are so present that I can't not mention them in this post, but so fresh that I don't feel as if words are the right response. This morning I sat at the piano and sang "May it Be," from the Lord of the Rings. It's my prayer to all those who are grieving now.

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utulie (Darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantie (Darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadow's call
Will fly away
May it be you journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

One of the best parts of the Christmas season for me is the wonderful concerts that are offered. It's a smorgasbord of sound that can be overwhelming and impossible to fit on one plate. Sometimes I wish I could take a goodie bag home and open up some of these wonderful evenings in January, or even March, when I could use some cheering up.

Anyway, last week some friends invited us for dinner followed by a handbell concert. (Both were excellent.) The musical selections at the concert were varied and included a version of Fum, Fum, Fum that showcases snappy sound and some fancy mallet work. But the standout for me was a piece entitled "Christmas Eve Sarajevo, 12/24." Having written several blogs on  "The Cellist of Sarajevo" last summer, I was immediately intrigued. The music interweaves "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" with "The Carol of the Bells" and the opening strains are an homage to the cellist who inspired the book. The ending is a tintinnabulation (what a great word!) that's exciting and triumphant, and a whole lot of fun to watch in person as ringers scramble back and forth to make sure each note is sounded. I loved the piece so much I went home and bought it, and then had to figure out how to upload it onto Youtube so I could share it on the blog. This version is from the Raleigh Ringers.

Since I can't pair the music with a good dinner, I chose the first of four sections of a poem by Edgar Allen Poe entitled "The Bells" as an appetizer. Notice the unusual indentation, so specific a placement that it reminds me of the care used by the ringers in setting out their various bells and chimes at the concert. And who can't be caught up by the infectious rhyme scheme -  onomatopoetic perfection. The painting "Nebozvon", by Russian artist, Aristarkh Lentulov with his cacophany of color, adds a perfectly flavored garnish. Enjoy~

The Bells
by Edgar Allen Poe

   Hear the sledges with the bells--         
      Silver bells!
What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
       How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
           In the icy air of night!
       While the stars that oversprinkle
       All the heavens, seem to twinkle
           With a crystalline delight;
         Keeping time, time, time,
         In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells
    From the bells, bells, bells, bells,          
              Bells, bells, bells--
  From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.

Several weeks ago I headed over to Boiling Springs (PA) for a late autumn walk. As the name hints, there is a spring in the vicinity that feeds a small lake; the town is as quaint as can be. The weather was awesome, and after wandering around the lake, I stopped at the Cafe 101 looking for a glass of water and maybe a bite to eat. On the munchie display were bags of pretzel buckeyes. Oh My Goodness! Having a sister who lives in Indiana, I know all about buckeyes (chocolate covered peanut balls) but the pretzel addition was inspired.

Since they were a little pricey, I decided I would buy them (not for myself but) for my son-in-law, whose birthday was a few days away. When I sent a picture to the Indiana sister for inspiration, she asked how they tasted and of course I just HAD to break the bag open to see. Yup, they were as good as they looked. But then -you guessed it - I had to make a new batch for my son-in-law, as his bag was fast disappearing. Here's a recipe that I found on Pajama Chef, which worked quite nicely with a slight modification on the dipping chocolate. I sent some with my daughter to her office and they were a hit. So if you're looking for a fun holiday snack, here goes:

Pretzel Buckeyes

I cup creamy peanut butter
2 T butter, softened
1/2 - 3/4 c powdered sugar
3/4 c brown sugar
small pretzels
1 1/2 c chocolate chips
2 T shortening

Mix peanut butter, butter and sugars. They'll need to be stiff enough to roll into small balls about 1" diameter. Place between two pretzels and gently squeeze. (I'm not sure exactly why, but this was really fun to do!) Put the pretzels in freezer for thirty minutes. Melt chocolate chips with the shortening. You can do this over hot water, but I just stick mine in a glass measuring cup in the microwave for a minute or two, stirring after the first minute, and putting back in if the chips aren't fully melted. (Make sure there's no water in the bowl). Dip half of the pretzels into the chocolate mixture. Makes 4-5 dozen.

For the original recipe click here.
For more detailed dipping chocolate help click here.

Second Sunday of Advent

We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endur-ance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5) 

I was caught by this section in yesterday's scripture reading - how Paul sees that the end of suffering may result in the capacity to be full of hope. This is true, he says, not because we ourselves become more hopeful, but that we are filled more and more with the spirit of hope, which is the spirit of love. As he will say in that well-known section describing love (1 Corinthians 13) "Love always hopes."

Here is my own paraphrase of this section of Romans 5, followed by segments of Romans 8 and snippets of Psalms.

Our faith in God’s love (demonstrated to us through Jesus’ life, death and  resurrection) has restored our connection to God, the All-Powerful Spirit of Love. We realize now that we are meant to share in the life and love of God. And when suffering comes our way, we understand that it is meant to strengthen us and to form us into people in whom the Spirit has more and more room to act. As we take on God's ways of thinking and acting, we become ever more hopeful of God’s purposes being accomplished, not only in our lives, but also in the world around us. We become convinced that all is well, and that all shall be well, for we are grounded in God’s love.

So when we meet suffering and hardship, we know how to make sense of them. We know that they come, not to keep us from God, but to bring us nearer to God. And God is at work in us and around us to bring us into fullness of life. God is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-love. Who or what can come against this powerful, wise, loving presence? God is for us, doesn’t condemn us, nor want us to be filled with guilt or shame. Indeed, far from condemning us, Jesus is right now sending us his love, his grace, his mercy, his joy so that we are able to merge even more with the loving presence of the Trinity. Nothing can separate us from this love. It is above us, around us and in us. We are drinking from this love, dancing in this love, pouring out this love. We are of God, and like, a mother, she does not forget her offspring. We are the bride of Christ, and as true of any beloved, he holds us in his heart. We are the dwelling place of the Spirit of love, and Spirit flame burns bright enough to overcome any darkness. 
 
We are of God, we are in God, God is in us. This Advent season, let us be people of love. Let us be people of hope.

Sunday begins the celebration of Hanukkah, a series of holy days that spring from a mystery. How did a small amount of sacred oil sustain the menorah in the temple for eight days (allowing just enough time to make a fresh amount of oil) when it should have only lasted for one day? Like the  bush Moses encountered in the wilderness, burning and burning without being consumed, there is no answer except that, somehow, God was there.

Mysteries are all around us. Some things, cancer disappearing overnight, a check in the mail for exactly the right amount on a critical day, missing an oncoming truck may truly defy explanations - can even be called miracles. But even those things we think we understand are mysterious. Because beneath every answer is another question. After what?, when? and how? there sits a why?.

In this poem by Mary Oliver, we are encouraged not to put too much stock in answers. They keep us from seeing what is truly amazing. Grass turns into flesh and bone. Gravity, though strong enough to tame water and rock, cannot keep our thoughts from the sky. The briefest touch with a stranger creates a bond that lasts forever. These, and many more wonders that we daily encounter, deserve our awe, our bug-eyed call to look. They cause us to laugh in astonishment with those of like mind and together bow our heads.  

Mysteries, Yes
Mary Oliver
  
Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous
  to be understood.
 
How grass can be nourishing in the
  mouths of the lambs.
How rivers and stones are forever
  in allegiance with gravity
    while we ourselves dream of rising.
How two hands touch and the bonds
  will never be broken.
How people come, from delight or the
  scars of damage,
to the comfort of a poem.
 
Let me keep my distance, always, from those
  who think they have the answers.
 
Let me keep company always with those who say
  "Look!" and laugh in astonishment,
  and bow their heads.

Evidence, Beacon Press, 2009

Somehow during the shopping for Thanksgiving we ended up with several bags of carrots. What to do? Thankfully I'd picked up a tasty carrot soup recipe from a friend during the time we lived in Costa Rica. Elizabeth lived down the road and her home was always full of delicious smells. I think of her whenever I pull out this recipe. I decided to add some garlic and ginger (ingredients from another soup I'd tried) and the results were so good, I sat down and ate a bowl an hour before lunchtime.

The result is part savory, part sweet with the thyme and ginger contributing some interesting touches. It's a fairly easy recipe, the only finicky part is the blending at the end typical of those creamy soups. Enjoy!

Orange Ginger Carrot Soup

4 cups grated carrots
2 cups chicken broth
1 cup orange juice
1/2 onion chopped
1 t garlic
1 t thyme
2 pieces candied ginger
salt and peper to taste

In large Dutch oven saute the onion and garlic. Add the carrots, broth, orange juice, thyme, and ginger. Simmer for 40 minutes or until carrots are well done. In batches, put in blender and process until smooth. Serves 3-4.