I can't live this way without another belief - which is, there is a good which is good for all of us, and if I wait and imagine and creatively engage my thoughts and the thoughts of others, this good will become apparent. Last summer I found myself asking the question "What wants to happen?" And a related question "Where are the energies leading me?" I trusted that if I wanted to do something (in this case, take a vacation to New England) that it would be good for my family. If it wasn't good for my family, the desire would dissipate and another option would open up.
A therapist I've met mentioned last week that there is a discomfort when you are waiting for resolution, sitting in the unknowing, unable even to imagine a solution. The discomfort that comes when multiple voices seem to be in conflict. To wait in the discomfort requires faith - faith that good is there to be found, and that you will be able to recognize it when it arrives. Faith that, if you wait, a new path will open.
So to love means that I live out of the hope that the person I was created to be is possible. I choose to believe that what is good for me is good for those around me, and vice versa. And I am willing to wait - even in the discomfort of the process.